CHAPTER SIXTEEN

I did not go into the church after Miles. I remained sitting among the tombs thinking about what the young boy had said. I knew that not attending the church service would look bad, but I did not want to go in late and disturb the rest of the people inside. What bothered me most was the fact that Miles now knew that I was afraid of finding out the truth about why he was dismissed from the school. Looking back, I feel now that I should have contacted the uncle. However, at the time the idea of dealing with such unpleasant things made me avoid the problem. Again, Miles had power over me, what he had said to me in our short conversation at the church was, "Contact my uncle, or I will stop being such a nice young man." It bothered me that a boy of this age could be so clever and powerful.

I realized then, as I walked around the church, that I was now much more helpless than before. There was nothing I could do to make the situation better. It was because of this that I did not go into the church. I could not possibly sit next to that boy who knew how helpless I was. Stopping near one of the church windows, I could hear the sounds of music and prayer. Suddenly, the desire to run away came over me. This was my opportunity. Because of the church service, no one would be at the house. I could very easily run back, pack my clothing, and catch the afternoon train back to town. I could imagine everyone coming back from church and wondering where I had gone. I could see the children pretending that they had no idea where I was or why I had gone. For a moment, I considered only getting away until dinnertime. But then the idea of having to explain to everyone, especially the children, why I had wandered off, seemed very unpleasant.

Immediately, I left the church, and walked back across the great lawn to the house. When I arrived, the chance to escape seemed even greater. If I were to leave now, I could avoid the arguments and angry words that would surely come my way if people had been at home. The only problem was how to get away. I would need a car to take me to the station, but that would take time. It was possible that people might return before the car could get here. I suddenly felt helpless and sat down at the bottom of the stairway. I put my head in my hands and was about to cry, when I then realized that I looked exactly like the ghost I had seen that night crying on the stairway. Immediately, I got back to my feet, and walked up the stairs.

I went to the children's classroom to gather a few things to take with me back to town. However, when I opened the door, I saw someone sitting at my desk. At first, I thought she could have been a servant, who had taken an opportunity to rest while everyone was away at church. Her face was turned away from me, but I could see from the way she sat holding her head in her hands that she was very sad. She then, suddenly, turned and rose to her feet. As we stood less than ten feet away from each other, staring into one another's eyes, I could see very clearly that the woman before me was the children's former teacher. She had on the same black dress she had worn at the lake. And her horrible white face seemed to challenge my right to be there. I shouted at her, "Go away from here, you evil woman!" The sound of my voice echoed throughout the house. The look on her face seemed to show that she understood what I had said. She then disappeared, leaving me with the feeling that I could not go away.

(end of section)